Myths about separation, divorce and the Bible:

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See also:

Click to View8 Causes of Divorce
Click to ViewDivorce, Remarriage and the Bible
Click to ViewIs Divorce Really the Answer to my marriage problems?



A. Myth: Both spouses are always at fault if they divorce.

Fact: There is often an innocent party in a divorce.

  1. Constitutes unscriptural accusation: 2 Cor 13:1-2.
  2. Condemns the righteous: Hosea was innocent: Hos.3:1; God was innocent: Jer.3:8; Christ was innocent: Gal.1:6; Wife of youth was innocent: ""Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." Malachi 2:14; The innocent Christian abandoned by the unbelieving spouse: 1 Cor 7:15
  3. Unlike God's hatred, Mal.2:16 (includes qualified authorization) Catholics condemn all divorce. Rejection contributes to fading societal stigma against divorce (Alive and well in the Church).
  4. Denies Divine authority for divorce From Moses, Matt.19:8. Same word, I Cor.14:34; Same root, Acts 26:12; Consider H.S.'s description of Joseph's action, Matt.1:19.
  5. From Christ. Mark 10:2-3. "lawful?...What did Moses command you?" Matt.5:32. Condemned, "except for unchastity."

Myth: A husband and wife may divorce for any cause in order to maintain their own personal sense of peace and serenity. (Mt 19:9 gives only one reason for divorce.)

Myth: Second marriages are less likely to end in divorce than first marriages because people learn from their mistakes. The divorce rate for third and fourth marriages is much lower than first marriages.

Myth: Yes divorce often exhausts the assets of both spouses but the cost to the taxpayer is small. (One study calculated the cost to taxpayers of the 10.4 million divorces in the USA in 2002 to be in excess of $30 billion dollars!)

Fact: Recent studies show that following divorce, the woman's standard of living falls by about 27% (not 73% as widely published) whereas the man actually gains 10% (not 42% as widely published). Women gain more financially when the marry and lose more financially when they divorce than man.

Myth: The trend of easy divorce means that the average happiness of those who remain married today is higher than in the past when divorce was a taboo. (Married couples today are as happy as they were 100 years ago. However couples today are working far more today, which alone may contribute a decline in happiness in some marriages.)

Myth: Men usually file for divorce first over the protest of the wife. (66% of all divorces are initiated by women, not men)

Myth: Saying, "The marriage failed."

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People fail, marriage doesn't!
A. Words convey meaning. Should be careful to convey truth.
B. Marriage is designed, accomplished, directed by God. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your marriage! Don't blame it. Your marriage is perfect!

C. You don't have "marital problems." (Term excuses people.) You have people problems. Sin has sabotaged God plan. Spouses fail. Marriages do not.

Myth: 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 teaches that permanent separation is a non-sinful option over divorce if you never remarry: (Truth: 1 Corinthians 7:5 is the only passage that discusses separation with 2 conditions) Separation is as sinful as divorce! Perversion of 1 Cor.7:10-11. Commands opposite. Compare v.11 with 1 Jn.2:1. Separation plainly forbidden, 1 Cor.7:5. Exceptions must be imagined.

Myth: We're just too different to stay married and have nothing in common. (Truth: Finding common things do not make marriages last. If you chose a mate that has many things in common with you, after 5 - 10 years one or both, will no longer share these common interests. Opposites attract anyway! You do need one critical thing in common: the desire to be a Christian and attend church every Sunday. Only your relationship with God will keep you together.)

Myth: "If can't get along, its better to divorce."

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Divorce is sin and prohibited.
A. Christ prohibited, Matt.19:6, 9; Cf. I Cor.7:10-11.
B. Consider similar Biblical prohibitions:
"If can't stay sober...."
"If can't keep from lying....."
"If can't keep from stealing...."
"If can't keep from sexual immorality...."

Myth: "I don't love him/her any more, I can divorce"

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Repent- love is commanded!
A. More moral than God who knew nothing of such.
B. Both commanded to love, Tit.2:4; Eph.5:25. If do not, sin!
C. Solution? Repent. Confess sin. Start loving, now, Lk.3:8. (Usually confuses emotion with action. Love is action.)

"Breaking the marriage vow doesn't count."

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Breaking marriage vows = divorce = sin
Num.30:2; Deut.23:21; Rom.1:31-32.


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