Seven Parenting Sayings Of Worldly Wisdom

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Introduction:

  1. Deadly saying #1: "Rebellion is normal"
  2. Deadly saying #2: "Spanking is unhealthy"
  3. Deadly saying #3: "Parents should rule with love not fear"
  4. Deadly saying #4: "Dr. Spock philosophy of permissiveness"
  5. Deadly saying #5: "Parents can't choose kids friends"
  6. Deadly saying #6: "Quality time is enough"
  7. Deadly saying #7: "Parents aren't responsible how kids turn out!"

A. Parents are entrusted with a soul of great value: Mt 16:26.

  1. 1 Thes 5:14 admonish the unruly children, encourage the fainthearted children, help the weak children, be patient with all children.
  2. Prov 20:11 by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself if his conduct is pure and right.

B. Time is short

  1. If child doesn't respect and fear authority by age 2, there are big troubles ahead!
  2. A child's basic character is entrenched by age 6.
  3. The experienced parent is one who has learned to sleep when the baby isn't looking and there are only two animals in all of creation that sleep standing up, horses and parents of newborns.

C. What Children need...

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...for strong bodies and souls!

Children Need 5 Essential Vitamins for strong healthy bodies:

Children Need 5 Essential Morals for strong Healthy Souls:

Iron

Work Ethic: 2 Th 3:10

Vitamin C

Endurance: James 1:2-4

Riboflavin

Self-discipline 2 Cor 13:5

Vitamin B-12

Cooperation: Eccl 4:9-12

Biotin

Responsibility: 1 Ti 5:4

D. Four Common Parental Mistakes

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  1. Unreasonable Commands: Over Commandment
  2. Uncompassionate: Insufficient Affection
  3. Unreasonable Blame: Incessant Scolding
  4. Uncontrolled Anger: Needless Severity

 

 

 

 

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Deadly saying #1:

"Rebellion is normal"

  1. (2 Tim 3:2; Rom 1:30 For children will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy)
  2. When a child begins to sow wild oats, its time for father to start the threshing machine.

A. Rebellious children were put to death!

  1. Deut 21:18-21 If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his home town. And they shall say to the elders of his city, `This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.' Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear of it and fear.
  2. Lev 20:9 If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him.
  3. Ex 21:15 And he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
  4. Prov 30:11,17 There is a kind of child who curses his father, and does not bless his mother. The eye that mocks a father, and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.
  5. 2 Ki 2:23-24 young lads came out from the city and mocked Elisha, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.
  6. When children get off the train track of life, its time to use the switch.

B. Rebellion is a grave sin:

  1. 1 Sam 15:23 "For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry, you have rejected the word of the LORD
  2. Isa 30:9 For this is a rebellious people, false sons, sons who refuse to listen to the instruction of the LORD;
  3. 1 Tim 1:9 the civil law is for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers

C. Rebellious children bring heart ache to parents:

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  1. Discipline doesn't break a child's spirit half as often as the lack of it breaks a parents heart.
  2. Prov 10:1 A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother.
  3. Prov 13:1 A wise son accepts his father's discipline, but scoffer doesn't listen to rebuke.
  4. Prov 17:25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.
  5. Prov 19:13 A foolish son is destruction to his father, and the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.
  6. Prov 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort and delight your soul.
  7. There was only one child in all world history who actually knew more than his parents...Jesus Christ...yet he still obeyed them with all respect.

 

 

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Deadly saying #2:

"Spanking is unhealthy"

  1. The behavior of some children suggests that their parents embarked on the sea of matrimony without a paddle.
  2. A. Some actually say that spanking harms the child:

  3. Psychologically "permanent mental scars"
  4. children obey out of fear not love
  5. Form of child abuse for which parents should be thrown in jail!
  6. Will actually make children rebel! Luke 23:14 Jesus was falsely accused of causing rebellion
  7. Children are like canoes, they behave better if paddled from the rear.
  8. Children are like ketchup bottles. A few slaps on their bottom, get them moving.

B. God commanded parents to spank!

  1. Heb 12:6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives
  2. Prov 23:13-14 Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, & deliver his soul from Sheol.
  3. Prov 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
  4. Prov 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
  5. Prov 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
  6. Discipline is what you inflict on one end of the child to impress the other end.
  7. A pat on the back will develop character if given young enough, often enough, low enough and hard enough
  8. If a child annoys you, quiet him down by brushing his hair. If this doesn't work, use the other end of the brush on the other end of the boy.

C. Legal justice system of caning in some countries Biblical!

  1. Caning & scourging although a civil option is not for child discipline by parents
  2. Remember the 20 year old American man who was caned 4x in Korea for car theft? American government objected as torture!
  3. Prov 20:30 Stripes that wound scour away evil, and strokes reach the innermost parts.
  4. John 2:15 Jesus made a scourge of cords, and drove them out of the temple
  5. John 19:1 Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged Him
  6. Isa 53:5 by His scourging we are healed
  7. Acts 22:24 (Roman) commander ordered Paul to be examined by scourging

D. Other methods of discipline: Key: Discover what works for each child

  1. A parents most difficult job is to teach their children that "no" is a complete sentence.
  2. Verbal warning or scolding
  3. Isolation: Stand in corner; sit on a chair; send to room; grounding
  4. Make fighting siblings face each other holding both hands for 15 minutes! Real torture!
  5. Withdrawal of privileges: something that they wanted...something that hurts!
  6. Imposition of work: a punishment that teaches, value of work, responsibility and also provides a release for boredom Non-Biblical proverb: "Idle hands are Devils workshop"
  7. Prov 27:5 Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.

E. Patience and care are always required:

  1. Jas 1:19 be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
  2. Prov 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention.
  3. Don't break the child's "spirit": Col 3:21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart

 

 

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Deadly saying #3:

"Parents should rule with love not fear"

A. Some say spanking makes children obey out of fear! AMEN!

  1. Deut 21:21 stone rebellious son to death...all Israel shall hear of it and fear.
  2. Fear: Greek: Phobos #5401 from a primary phebomai (to be put in fear); alarm or fright

B. We are commanded to fear the God of love!

  1. Luke 12:5 But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who after He has killed has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!
  2. Acts 5:11 (Annanias killed for lying) great fear came upon the whole church
  3. Phil 2:12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling;
  4. Heb 10:31 It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
  5. Heb 10:27 but a certain terrifying expectation of judgment, and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries.
  6. 1 Pet 1:17 And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth

 

 

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Deadly saying #4:

"Dr. Spock philosophy of permissiveness"

  1. Some parents begin with giving in and end with giving up.
  2. Prov 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.

A. Eli and his two sons were killed:

  1. Their sin: 1 Sam 2:12-17,22
  2. Eli's reaction: 1 Sam 2:23-25,29 Words only, battle was lost when 6 yrs old
  3. God's judgment; 1 Sam 2:34; 3:11-14 "He did not rebuke them"
  4. Too many parents tie up their dogs but allow their children to run loose.

B. Adonijah the son of David was killed

  1. 1 Ki 1:5-11; 2:12-25 Now Adonijah the son of David exalted himself, saying, "I will be king." ...And his father David had never crossed him at any time by asking, "Why have you done so?" And he was also a very handsome man.
  2. A modern worldly home is where a switch controls everything except the kids and where the TV set is better adjusted than the kids.

 

 

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Deadly saying #5:

"Parents can't choose kids friends"

  1. The most important thing a father can do for his children to love, honor, respect and be a best friend to their mother.
  2. A. They better or else!

  3. 1 Cor 15:33 Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.
  4. 2 Cor 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers...what fellowship has light with darkness?
  5. Prov 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
  6. Prov 1:10-15 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent...Throw in your lot with us, we shall all have one purse...Keep your feet from their path

B. We are to teach our kids not to marry non-Christians!

 

 

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Deadly saying #6:

"Quality time is enough"

  1. The morals and conduct of young people are so bad because parents are raising their children by remote control.

A. The only quality time is quantity time

  1. Slogan invented by neglectful, materialistically minded parents to salve their own consciences.
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  2. To train up children at home, its necessary for both parents & children to spend some time there
  3. Deut 6:5-7 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul & might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
  4. The best thing a father can spend on his children is time, not money.
  5. In the Tampa Times (12-13-78) appeared the following in the "Dear Abby" column:
    "This is to tell you about a letter you never received. Some time ago I received a call from my son's third grade teacher asking me to stop in at school to discuss a letter my son had written in letter-writing class. It was addressed to YOU. It read:
    "Dear Abby, My dad works all the time. He is never home. He gives me money and lots of toys, but I hardly ever see him. I love him and wish he would not work all the time so I could see him more. Jeff"
    That was the entire letter. "Abby, I was very poor when I was a boy. I always wanted my children to have it better than I did, so in addition to my regular job, I worked two part-time jobs-almost doubling my income. I managed to provide my wife and two sons with many luxuries, but I realized after reading Jeff's letter that I was depriving them of something far more important-myself. And my time.
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    What Mary Poppins knew:

    Even a top-quality substitute cannot take the place of parents.

  7. A Day Wasted?
    -Charles Francis Adams, son of U.S. President John Quincy Adams was a diplomat to Great Britain, as had been his father and grandfather.
    -On one occasion he wrote this in his diary: "Went fishing with my son today --a day wasted."
    -His son, Brooks, wrote this entry for the same day: "Went fishing with my father --the most wonderful day of my life."

 

 

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Deadly saying #7:

"Parents aren't responsible how kids turn out!"

  1. The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent but having teenagers is often what undermines a parents belief in heredity altogether.

A. Parents will be held responsible for their children:

  1. There are no bad children only bad parents
  2. Child is a product of his environment
  3. If the children of the 90's get any worse, parents will have to post a 5000 bond every time a child is born.
  4. Titus 1:6 Elders must have children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. (God's qualification of being an elder is within parents control & not a matter of chance)
  5. Parents should stop going out to sow their wild oats and stay home to start cultivating their children.
  6. 1 Tim 3:4-5 home is testing ground for elders; forms basis of example
  7. Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.
  8. It is extremely difficult to train a child in the way his father does not go.
  9. Eph 6:4 fathers...bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

B. Children ultimately responsible for their own eternal destinies

  1. Father bear the guilt for the son's iniquity: Ezek 18:20
  2. Children to serve God without any parental help: Eccl 12:1; Ps 119:9-16
  3. Children reap what they sow: Gal 6:7,8; Prov 4:1-27

Conclusion: These seven sayings are born out of the philosophy of:

  1. Parents of shallow marital commitments: With as many divorces as we have nowadays, it seems that more parents are running away from home than children
  2. Parents who don't go to church: Parents don't lead their children in the right direction because the parents aren't going that way themselves
  3. Parents who abdicate raising their children to the state through daycare and the school system: Teaching children to count is not as important as teaching children what counts.
  4. Self-centered Parents who spend their tiny spare time on recreation: Some fathers worry more about their golf swing than they do their offspring.
  5. Parents who will sacrifice knowing their families for that second car or that bigger house: Once Satan first makes friends with the parents through materialism it is easy to get all their children.
  6. Parents who have never really taken parenting seriously: One important way for us to help our children grow up is for us to grow up first.
  7. World always consider themselves successful as parents as long as their children don't end up in jail: For a Christian the standard of success is much much higher. (Teaching their children to passing on their faith to their children's children.) Children brought up in Sunday school are seldom brought up in court.

 Steve Rudd

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